there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
