Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
