Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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