is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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