Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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