You're completely useless in the revolution.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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