It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
