Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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