I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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