Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
