I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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