Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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