Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize