I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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