and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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