My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
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