He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
