Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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