then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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