Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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