just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dignity is for republicans.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
The uberlube is also flammable
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
