what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
