Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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