I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
