i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
