Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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