i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
