You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
