spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
