"it" just moved
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize