I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Can Purell be used as lube?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
