Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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