just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
