Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize