I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
