i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize