i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Dear god my vagina.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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