i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
