help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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