My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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