my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
