the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize