The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
