That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
