How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
