You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
