I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
