There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Randomize