All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
