I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
