i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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