We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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