She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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