I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
