3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize