You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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