i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
