Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
