In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
