Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
