Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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