oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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