so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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