hotel room ftw
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
